I watch too many movies

“Breaking Dawn Part Two” Directed by Bill Condon

Written by Melissa Rosenberg (screenplay) and Stephenie Meyer(novel).

Ok so I’m going to start and say: Yes I watch Twilight and yes I do enjoy it. No I am not some Twihard but I love how ridiculous the plot line can be and still be amazingly entertaining. If you think that I believe that this is some excellent example of film you are very mistaken. I believe that this is a series of films in which you sit, basically turn your brain to 13 year old girl and just enjoy, NOT OBSESS, ever! Also don’t think of them as actual Vampires, because sparkling in the sun and lack of staking does not make Vampires. Buffy would destroy them! (No I don’t think Vampires are real.) So back to this movie. Be ready for the longest pre-film credits ever, but they are really pretty, so better? If you don’t know where the previous films left off, I’m sorry, but where have you been living for at least the last four years? Human turned Vamp Bella had a kid with Vamp Edward and creep Wolfie Jacob “imprinted” on the baby. K? There’s a ton of Vamps & Werewolves and drama & angst. Like I said entertainment! Ha. Back to the baby, um I just threw up in my mouth again. The imprinting shit is creepy on its own but the lovely director F-ed up this baby. The baby grows up super-duper fast, so rather than get a real baby at any point he got a 12 year old and used CGI to create a baby that looked like Mackenzie Foy. I learned about something in an advertising class that I took years ago and it’s called the “uncanny valley” which as wiki says “holds that when human replicas look and act almost, but not perfectly, like actual human beings, it causes a response of revulsion among human observers.” Um yeah that says it best. I was forced to say ew every time that baby came on screen (not literally, Don’t talk in movies! Ha). They are able to kill off vamps, wolves, destroy earth, create fire, and transform people into wolves, but they couldn’t get a baby. Yes this will bother you that much… You’ll get over it at the weirdly hot sex scene though. No actual sex is shown, but lots of skin, yet not revealing. There is also not a lack of attractive people in this film obviously. The fight scene is intense and will make you cheer and go OH SHIT… Especially since the only way anyone dies is snapping necks and ripping off heads. Yeah um gross sound for sure. Good thing is that you don’t totally hate Bella (K-Stew) in this installment. Until now Bella is a depressed sack of dependent teen angst. Yeah gross.. Now she is an extremely attractive strong woman, maybe because she is married and a mother, what every girl wants (no I’m not reading into it, it’s Twilight, don’t forget.) I really did enjoy it and for those of you who don’t know the book, expect a f-ing TWIST 🙂 I thought it was a good one. But for those of you who loved the Edward “Poo-Face” don’t worry he and Bella BOTH have great ones. Also Charlie (Bella’s Dad, Billy Burke) has always been my favorite character/ only believable one in the entire series, cept Jessica (Anna Kendrick, who can do no wrong) who is not a part of this film. Charlie is still awesome and there is an awkward scene between him and Jacob (totally hilarious). Oh and yes for anyone up on current events, you do find yourself feeling that this would be cute cept K-Stew cheated on R-Patz, which almost makes it funnier, so more entertaining. Just watch it, it’s a lot of fun. Wow, wrote too much. Kay I’m done.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s